After Death

It has been almost one year since my last post.  Things have been a little crazy for our family.  In October, 2012, my husband passed away from Kidney Cancer.  In the minutes, hours, days, weeks and now months since our family was changed forever, I have found many more resources for myself and my young children.  With that in mind, I updated my links to include a Grief Support Links section. 

I continue to have people ask me for resources during their family's fight with cancer, and I refer them to this site.  I am also having quite a few people ask me about resources when their family has experienced a loss, so I can now also refer them to this site.

The only thing I can say to a spouse who has or who will be loosing their partner is that there is no way you can truly prepare for the overwhelming grief, relief and guilt.  It is like turning your back to the ocean during a storm.  The mighty waves will come.  You can't predict when or how.  At first, it will be like a hurricane.  The waves come over and over.  They send you tumbling and crashing.  You feel like you can't breathe.  When you come up for air, you find you are still gasping because the pain in your chest is so unbearable.  You know you are a strong swimmer.  How can this be happening?  Why is the undertoe so strong that it keeps pulling you out to sea?  How am I going to survive?

It has been less than a year for me.  The waves still come, but thankfully they are less often and less severe.  I still choke on the water I swallow from a swamping wave of grief.  My chest still hurts.  The undertoe has weakened.  My muscles are stronger.  I have my life raft nearby - support of family, friends, therapist and the ability to just shut down for a little while. 

At first, I was mad at my life raft for dumping me into the stormy sea by pulling away so quickly after his death, but they have their own lives and families.  Now I realize that pulling the life raft away was necessary to force me to swim on my own, but it's still there within my reach. 

The waves still come.  They still send me tumbling.  I am getting pretty good at climbing on my life raft and weathering the storm.  Later, I jump back in the water.  Someday, maybe, just maybe, the waves will become a natural part of visiting the beautiful beach.

Lemon Secrets!

I verified this article with Snopes.  Their comment was, "It is a mixture of true and false information."  You can find more information by going to http://www.snopes.com/medical/disease/lemons.asp

Many professionals in restaurants and eateries are using or consuming the entire lemon and nothing is wasted.  How can you use the whole lemon without waste?  Simple..place the lemon in the freezer section of your refrigerator.  Once the lemon is frozen, get your grater, and shred the whole lemon (no need to peel it) and sprinkle it on top of your foods.

The Worst Part of Scans? Waiting....

I have found that if you talk to any family that is currently experiencing cancer, you will find the worst part of having scans is not the scans themselves.  It is not even the anticipation of having a scan.  It is after the scan has been preformed...  waiting for the results.

Stronger - Seattle Children's Hospital Video

Stronger - Seattle Children's Hospital Video

15 Things You Should Give Up in Order to be Happy

15 Things You Should Give Up in Order to be Happy

I am

Nutritional Information We Can Actually Use!

Since Alyn started radiation, he has been having a terrible time keeping down food.  I cannot think of anything scarier than to watch the person you love eat and throw up everything day after day.  I feel like we have tried everything.  Yesterday, out of desperation, we met with a nutritionist.  To date, nutritionists have not been very helpful.  This time was different.

Bad News, Now What?

On Monday, we received bad news.  After two clear scans, when we were told to expect progression and were clear, in April, my husband has 6 new tumors.  In less than four months, Alyn has 2cm metastasises (mets) in his hip, rib and two in his lung.  There are two other small mets - one is in his right shoulder blade, but the other is in his brain.  I keep telling myself the brain met is small - 4mm.  The problem is that the drug they want him to take to prevent future growth is not eligible for patients with brain mets. 

Do You Have a Will?

If you do not have a will, and you have minor children, get one! 

As an insurance agent, I have been talking about the importance of updated wills to all my clients.  The problem?  When our first child was born, we hurried out and completed our will, durable power of attorney and medical power of attorney. 

Tree House Gang Starts Tomorrow, 04/19/2012

From: Dorothy.Carter@dekalbmedical.org
Date: 04/18/2012 01:25 PM
Subject: Upcoming Sessions

Hi,  TreeHouse Gang,
We hope your spring is going well.  In fact,  summer is just around the corner!   We wanted to let you know about upcoming events.  The first one begins tomorrow,  April 19 to be followed by April 26  and May 3rd,  all Thursdays.  This is our regular program for Tree House members from 4:45 to 6:00 and the Young Survivors from 6:00 to 7:15 in the Cancer Center.  If you wish to come, and have not previously registered,   please let us know, or, just come on in!  There will be people here to give out hugs!

Helping Children Understand Cancer

Just added a new link to a great article.

Helping Children Understand Cancer

Greatest Weakness

Courtesy of All These Quotes are Shared with Us by Prabeena Kaylan

I'm Fine, Dammit!

Courtesy of Laugh It Out

Blue Skies

Alyn, Grace, Zachary and I are spending the most wonderful week being spoiled rotten at a Blue Skies Ministries Retreat.  Blue Skies Ministries usually serves families who have a child with cancer.  They invited us to attend this retreat thinking our family needs are very similar.   I never imagined how much we needed this gift.

Favorite Support Group

Do you have a favorite support group?  Post a link so we can see what it is all about. 

Two New Links Added Today

After attending a caregiver support group at the Winship Cancer Center - Emory, I was told about two more programs that would be helpful.  Check them out.

Blue Skies Retreats

Food Tidings - Calendar

Caregiver Support Group Meets Wed. at Emory

The Winship Cancer Institute is sponsoring a Caregiver Support group that meets from 11am to 12:30pm at Emory every third Wednesday of the month.  RSVP to Carol Rivera at (404) 778-4593.  The next meeting is this Wednesday, March 21st.

Laughter is Cheaper than Medicine

Thank you Laughter is Cheaper than Medicine on Facebook!

Medication Template

Good morning!  I am trying to take this technology thing to the next level by using Google Docs.  I've had quite a few requests for a template of the Medication Chart I use to help manage my husbands drugs.  Here is the link.  http://bit.ly/woGwnh  Hope this helps you out as much as it has us.

Met with Oncologist Today - Good News

Good news today from oncologist.  Blood work looked great.  Alyn is to continue at the lower dose of the cancer medication which gives him the opportunity for more manageable side effects.  He is able to get out more and even caught Zachary's tball game on Saturday.  Has been paying for it since, but should be up for another game tomorrow night.

Bone scan, CT scan of abdomine and lungs, and MRI of head scheduled for 04/18/2012 with oncologist appointment scheduled for 04/23/2012.  Wish us luck!